It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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