so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
