his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize