The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize