tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You've changed since you got that strap on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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