plz talk dirty to me
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
