Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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