You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well I just put wine in my tea
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
