Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
