when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
