So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
