can we get nightvision for the apartment?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
a search helicopter?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
