so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
This is my gift to your gina
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
