oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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