How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
