He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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