Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
