either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
