Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
