I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
