its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
