i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
