Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
