About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
no you cant smoke seaweed
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
