I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
