Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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