Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
