I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Damn victory sex feels great
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
