do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
