I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
