I wanna bring you to show and tell
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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