OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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