Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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