I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
