At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Girls should come with a carfax report
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
