I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
