i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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