if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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