My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
