AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
