I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's official drugs can't kill me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
