..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
