no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
