The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
