I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
