just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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