just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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