hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
