Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
