if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
