He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
