Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
