Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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