I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
