I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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