I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
