how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
