So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
