hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
barbara walters just said penis...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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