My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
