In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
