bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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