I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
