lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
