Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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