I wish I could teleport
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
