So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
