You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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