Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
