you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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