Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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