So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
