Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
