Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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