idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
