the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
