awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I will be naked everywhere
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
