Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize