My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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