dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
