Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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