Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
