Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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