if you like me you must not know who I am
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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